You know, for a long time I was that girl who had everything planned down to the last detail. Patient appointments booked a month ahead, perfectly styled hair, ironed blouses. But this summer my friend Elin and I escaped to an island — white sand, turquoise lagoon and zero worries.
So there I am lying by the water, and the wet swimsuit is chafing absolutely everywhere. Those stubborn ties, that stupid damp fabric… And the white tan lines that literally make me shudder! Elin didn’t think long: she stood up, in one motion pulled off her top, then her bottoms and simply stepped into the clear water. Completely without complexes! She tossed over her shoulder: “Kaija, just drop it, it’s only us, the palms and the wind!”
In that moment everything inside me snapped. My heart started pounding somewhere in my ears, my palms instantly grew sweaty. Naked? On the beach?! God, I’m a clinic assistant, not a cover model!
But the thrill won. We went to the far end of the beach where the shore was edged by grey stones. My knees were literally shaking. Taking off the top was half the battle — the fresh sea breeze burned my hot skin and millions of pleasant goosebumps ran down my back. But when it came to the panties…
I took a deep breath, yanked them off and… immediately covered myself with my hands like an idiot! My heart was doing 200 beats per minute. What if someone sees? What if I look stupid? But around there was only silence, sun and warmth. And this pure, undiluted adrenaline! I dropped my hands. For the first time the sun rays touched ALL of my body. It wasn’t just unusual — it was damn sexy and free.
And then a real wild girl woke up inside me. I decided to run beautifully, like in a slow-motion shot from a Baywatch movie, through the shallows. Free, wild, naked!
The idea was worth a million, the execution — a ruble.
Having picked up speed, I jumped from some unreal delight and… caught my toe on an underwater rock.
Oh God! I crashed full force straight into the incoming wave! Face down!
A second later I was on all fours right in the surf. Naked, completely defenceless, and around me unfolded every sophisticated fetishist’s dream: I was covered in wet sand, coughing, practically vomiting seawater and desperately spitting out the grains stuck in my mouth! The sandy mush plastered my breasts, thighs and buttocks, creating the most ridiculous and spicy “costume” in history.
Elin on the shore was simply falling over with laughter. I pressed my lips together, wiped my face with a wet palm, looked at myself… and also howled with laughter! In that moment all my fear, all the tension and shame simply evaporated in the sea foam. I stood naked, spat out sand and felt absolutely, incredibly happy!
Further — more. The taste of freedom could no longer be stopped.
A month later my husband and I rented a room with an open terrace at a Mediterranean resort. Pulling on only a striped cap, I sprawled completely naked in a white hammock under the scorching sun. And above — the terrace of the neighbouring cottage, and I perfectly understood that I was right there in full view.
The expectation that someone above might glance at me right now caused a sharp, almost burning jolt of arousal. I deliberately threw my legs over the edges of the hammock, stretched, turned toward the sea, savouring every second of this edge-of-the-line game. Sweet warmth spread low in my belly. My body was beautiful, alive and breathing with every cell.
In short, girls (and not only!), naked skin under the sun and wind is the best antidepressant. A tan without a single white stripe is now my main pride, and a trip to the beach without a swimsuit is my favourite source of intoxicating adrenaline. Shame is just a stupid habit. Drop it together with your clothes!
Do I still get embarrassed when I remember that fall into the sand? A little yes! But it’s the most pleasant embarrassment in the world, mixed with wild thrill. I’d love to meet like-minded people to discuss the juiciest and funniest moments of such freedom!